it rises as the sun

She watches the sun come up...thinking of the person she is. Spent most of the day drinking yet felt no affect. No tiredness or fatigue. Watching those around her as they war with each other. Tension building as she only stares no words out of her mouth. She thinks of what she's holding down...for what cause? Is it the cure for her loneliness? Or desperation to have the extended family she wished she had? Stupidity is the word in her mind but she also is one who knows too much for her own good. One who was taught lessons she did not ask for and now feels a weight on her shoulders that she wishes she can throw off. But then what is she left with? Its all she knows and like a glass shattering on the floor she runs chasing a victim to release frustration on. Snapping, swinging nothing makes sense. She knows what the consequence will be if she let's it all go. To face a side of her hidden inside ready to rise as the sun in the morning sky.

Sacrifices

Last night on Gossip Girl I once again witnessed Chuck Bass give up his happiness for Blair. Once again becua in seaosn2 he did the same....
Chuck lets Blair go


So i guess it teaches that we have to make sacrifices for others to be happy even at the sake of our own. If its meant to be it'll come back, if not then something else will come along.

Phase 1

I can write the greatest thing ever written but it wouldn't matter. Cause at the end of the day it was only important to me and no one else....does that still mean it matters? Cause its important to me.

Emo? No..maybe its truth.

People will confront you with pitiful matters only to make you feel bad for decisions you have made in your past. But what's past is prologue and if you are aware of it why be upset? The decision was made by you and only you.

Be weary of what of you do but when you stand for something or make a decision on something know what it is and allow it to happen. Don't let others question you cause if you begin to question yourself does it remain truth or become a lie?

Lying is an easy way out. No one likes facing the truth.

So think of it as a challenge. Think of past decisions. Do you regret any? Think about why you regret it, could be someone put that seed in your mind. Cause when it happened you sure as hell went along with it for a reason.

Fate? perhaps...but that's for a different post.

In the end its true what Lucille Ball said "I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done."  So on that note..just live your life to the fullest. I know I am. I got a plan set in motion, its only phase one baby and its only gon get better from here. 

a word from our sponsers

its been a while. my bad. things are just not where i want them to be so just think of this as a commerical break.

Monster

This video obviously has been out for a minute. If you haven't seen it you missing out. I don't know why but it makes me smile.

Imagine

Imagine a future moment in your life where all your dreams come true. You know it's the greatest moment of your life and you get to experience it with one person. Who's standing next to you? -Peyton

letter

To Whom it May Concern:

In fact let me rephrase that...my life is not of your concern. In fact this message is to clarify that what I do or have done is not your problem. So whatever "exposure" or issue that I have done in my life is MY problem. Its not a topic to discuss or a matter to bring up. And if you choose to bring it up do me a favor and clarify what it was that I did that gave you a need to talk. I say that because bringing up a topic and just saying never mind makes you a coward...point blank. Another thing if you have a complaint and wanna take it up with me, do it to my face. Cause at the end of the day one of those people you have shared with will have balls and approach me making it clear that there are still real people in this world, and that what goes around comes around. So long story short, wanna talk out of your ass bet go ahead, but remember walls have ears and it will get to me and take note there are people who have tried to take me down....do me a solid go look for them now.

I live my life for me, and do what I can to enjoy it. If that bothers you then you need to see whats up in your life and work on that.

Thank you

-B. Sawyer