What Im thinking

What am I thinking?
That young men and women aren't safe out there.
The system that is meant to protect us is failing, and ya can't blame individuals this time.
The same system that trains the good guys, trains the bad ones too.
The same system that makes students focus on taking exams and writing papers over learning what really matters.
The same system that picks who judges the wrong doers.
Who trains them? Enlightens them?
Building relationships with the community is a challenge, but no one is willing to accept it.
So we keep going on day by day, while a son is shot, and a daughter held up in the street.
We do it to ourselves, giving the ok for them to do it to us.
It's time we open our eyes, and see what isn't working anymore.
Peace don't happen overnight, and prayers can only give us a false hope.
It's time we stand together and show that we are more then just statistics and figures.
More than just a background.
We are the people, the people this country was made for, always evolving but not doing anything about it.

The Little Mermaid

Today Disney's version of The Little Mermaid turned 25. In 1989, I was 2 years old, and according to my mother it was the first movie I saw at the movie theater. While I don't remember much about that experience, I do remember it being the first story I loved and feared (Ursula can be scary to a young child). From the music to its characters (minus Ursula, like seriously I'd run out of the room every time her scene came up), I fell for the story of the mermaid who wanted to go to the human world. I wanted to be Ariel. Compared to some of the latest princess movies out these days, I think Ariel still reigns as top of her class.

Now before everyone goes all ape shit on me and say "well she gave up her life for a prince", lets recap real quick. Since the minute we meet her, she is already curious and exploring items that fall from the world above. She has already established that she wants to know more about what is out there, and the idea of becoming human doesn't occur really until she meets Ursula (cringe). Besides, her father destroying all of her human things, Prince Eric is just the push she needs to go out and explore the world she desires to know more about. Yes, she gave up her voice, but what's life without giving up things or making trades along the way. She got the motivation she needed to explore, and you can't lie to me and say the scene of her in town isn't the sweetest thing ever. In fact I wish they spent more time on that, her curiosity in the things she has questioned about is so genuine in this scene, which is only 1minute long!! That's right in only 1 minute we get a look at her finally exploring the world above, and I think that's one of the flaws the movie has. Yes she has to convince the prince to kiss her, and "Kiss the Girl" will always be one of my favorite songs, but I wish that more was shown of her silently getting the answers she wanted. I'd like to think Disney made up for this though with the town scene in Tangled, to me I see it as a tribute of sorts.

(look at the face, Prince Eric who?? its all about this weird small man with a stick)

Anyways enough of me ranting on the film, I want to take the time to look at the original story, by Hans Christian Anderson, whom I recommend if you have a chance look the guy up, he was a sad guy but interesting, then again so were a lot of these children story writers.

(Please note if you do not know the original story please stop here there are spoilers, because I'm nice here's a link The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Anderson for those curious).

In 1992 (because it was written inside by my mom), I was given this book as a gift by one of my neighbors who use to watch over me as a child. Now for those who know the original story, one might think "well this story is a little strong for a child, no?". Maybe I was a weird child, but it was one of my favorite books (even more impressive its a coloring book, and yet I never colored it, wanting to protect it, so yes I was a weird child). This story became one of my favorites, and yes I questioned why her name wasn't Ariel, and where was Flounder? And the most important question, why does she die?

Yes, our heroine, the brave nameless little mermaid, chooses to end her life instead of killing the prince. "SAY WHAT?" The mermaid spends her early life listening to stories told to her about the surface, while her curiosity is not as intense as Ariel's, she finally is given permission to go, and at that moment she sees and saves the prince from drowning and falls in love. Her feelings lead her to ask about humans, and she is told humans are not mortal, but when they die they shall have an eternal soul, something mermaids don't have. Its that, not the prince that causes her to bargain with the sea witch. She doesn't go above for love as her only reason, her drive comes from wanting to know what it means to have a soul. And as I got older and understood that concept, I realized why I love this story so much. Her sacrifice at the end, while seen a tragedy, is still a happy ending for her. She gains what she wanted the most, she felt love, and that love allowed her unable to kill the prince. Her "good deed", if you want to call it that, is recognized and as she turns to foam she feels herself floating into air, beginning her real journey of gaining an immortal soul.

I honestly can go on and on about this, but I think the point I wanted to make is that, at 25 Disney's Little Mermaid did the best it could with such a tragic story. It's easy to look and state the obvious, that she was a princess looking for a prince, but there's just something deeper than that. Ariel and the mermaid wanted to know about things forbidden to them, may it be exploring the human world, or gaining a soul. Truth is both got what they wanted, and they did it their way.


And now I end this very long piece with my favorite scene Kiss the Girl.

A Message from the Reaper

"I realized that in my downward spiral of hopelessness I was actually falling into a huge hole created by my absence of basic human graces. The most obvious was forgiveness. If I was wronged by anyone, in or out of the club, I had to be compensated by money or blood. There was no turning the other cheek. When relationships become a ledger of profit and loss, you have no friends, no loved ones, just pluses and minuses. You are absolutely alone."-John Teller

to all my S.O.A. fans out there. 

Dreams Defined

To me a dream is your innermost thoughts, a collection of memories and fantasies. Dreams can give you an insight to a parallel universe where you can see images from places or of people who seem familiar to you, but maybe you have never seen or met them before. It maps out the universe, and you can witness a moment where you are watching yourself. Dreams can be foreshadowing what is to come, or remind you of what has happened. What always gets me about dreams, is how sometimes they are so quick to forget. I can have the most exotic, wild, adventurous dream and my subconscious won't allow me to remember when I open my eyes.

Vybes

Thump, thump, thump.
Yells.
Yo!
Laughter.
A person lost in thought, while another runs back and forth.
Chase a ball, throw in the net.
Looked over an old set of words.
Went to another old hangout, once called "West Bank".
Can one look back and stare forward?
It hasn't changed.
The vybes are still the same, its just that this time I get to hop on 2 wheels and ride away.

Dark Alleyways for Strange Children

There is this spot that as a child I would find myself playing there. It was one of those places adults would say "don't go back there!", and when I asked "why?" I always got "its dangerous".  But being the strange little child, I would always end up not listening and end up there. Something about venturing off into a forbidden area makes the adventure more worth while. The risk of being caught, or getting hurt just added more to the thrill of the adventure. It's a spot that would inspire me to return to the group and share stories that, like Wendy,  I would make up. There were ones about a man with red eyes who wanted to kill us, and of a cat that would talk, giving warnings of evil. I became a storyteller for the other kids and these stories would become games and pranks and we would keep going until one of us cried or said enough is enough. This dark place was our Neverland, giving us endless childish adventures, and later on a place for some teenage experiences. 

Now as an adult I see it as a dark, desolate, area that I know isn't safe for any child to be alone in, but as I looked at it I saw my self running through it. As when the dogs from the other yard escaped and chased me and my friends, or when we would film silly videos hanging off of the fire escapes. Only with a guiding greenish light that leads us to where we can look into a window and see the lives of other people, a glimpse of who the neighbors really are. Even with those memories though, it let me know that I haven't just entered my dark place. I have always been in this dark place, even as a child. 

Uno

The game intensifies

Laughters are shared
The frustration of a draw 4
Arguments of rules
Reminders of past times
The sunlight rises and hides in clouds
The right song plays
Damn the dark
Damn the light
Eyes feel heavy
Sleep off the restless thoughts.