people always leave

seems like stop lights don't work for me.

highway

Keeps it moving. Can't sit still. Look out. White dashes merge. Trees all look the same. Other cars speed. Red, black and silver. Drivers smoking. Do they see me? Got cut off. Don’t honks just yell. Flip the bird, keep it moving. Slowing down. Tow truck manages through. Flashing yellow lights. Guess the driver was going too fast. Three cars way past fixing. Ambulance on the way. Cars slow down. Everybody look. Picasso made a piece on the road. Stuck, angry, tragic. No one moves. I look, do they see me? Same thought is on everyone mind. Could have been us. Look at opposite lane. It's all blurry. They are getting to where they need to. Seatbelt is too tight. Radio is on. Penny Lane. White dash white dash white becomes one white line. We're speeding up again. Can we race? No, damn. Are we there yet? No, damn again. Bored. Tree, tree, tree, tree. What state we in? Virginia, damn. Honky Tonk. My stomach growls. Can we stop soon? Maybe. Line becomes dashes. Pay exact toll. Look at the cashier. Look at me. Move my leg. Don't kick my seat. Can't be still.  Close eyes. Hear music. Can we play my CD? No. Driving. Driven nuts. Open eyes. More trees, more white dashes. Truck goes by. Honk your horn. I know I'm not 5 but still do it. Looks over brother playing video games. Let me play. Go get your own. Let me play. No! Scream inside. Look outside gas and food 2 miles. Are we stopping? Why? Just stop. He's hungry too. Ok. This song ain’t bad. Stopped. Got some food. Good for now. Close my eyes. Bump. Bump. Bump. Open my eyes. Are we there yet? No. Flashing yellow lights. Opposite side. Must be their turn. Three cars cross the mind. Look across. Baby in other car. It seems fine. Does it see me? Mad still. Slow. Look another jam. White line becomes dashes. Look outwards. Dead rodent. Poor guy. Wonder if it was alone. Cut off again. No words spoken. Where are we now? Virginia. Still? Damn.

11/11/11 what a wish should be

Today is one of those days where facebook will be bombarded with the idea that 11/11/11 is a magical day. Perhaps its the rapture that has happened twice already according to facebook posts.

In truth its Veterans Day a day where we honor and remember those who fought in wars to protect our freedom and right to live as people who can go on faceboook and post about making wishes.

What were the soldier wishes? watch Vietnam in HD. I caught a bit of it and hearing those stories of the families here at home making real wishes. They wanted their sons, brothers, friends, husbands to come home. The soldiers wishes who wanted to come home, who wanted to just stay alive for one more day. Those who witnessed their fellow brothers die so terribly. Those injured wishing to live through this and make it home and others wishing to die just not to live with the pain of a missing limb or knowing they may not even live through the night. Those are real wishes.

So when the clock strikes at 11:11 today think about what you really wishing for. Its a nice thought to help ya through the day, to have a little fun even, but think about those who fought for us and keep in mind what today really is about. Happy Veterans Day.

"If a man could have half of his wishes, he would double his troubles." - Benjamin Franklin

Commercial Break

This commercial may have just become my most favorite one of the year. Gotta love the music!!!

bang bang

Sometimes you meet someone who helps ya hear the *BANG* you needed to hear. That gunshot, like one heard at the start of a race. That person makes ya wake up and start running and next thing you know your mind opens and focuses on the path ahead. Your legs feel weak your heart starts pumping. You out of breath, sweating and the only thing you want to see is that finish line. But hold on..what about the one who started that feeling, who set ya off running to an unknown point. Do they run with you?

They could...they should..maybe they would...but you run alone.

I'm not saying its a bad or good thing. You just gotta hear that *BANG* and run . You don't need them to run with you, but they appear along the way. Guiding you, cheering you on. They could also be just firing and not following. Not caring. Not even standing by the checkpoint to pass us that cup of water.


I think I heard it. I think I'm running. I'm not looking back, only forward. I don't care whose on the finish line. I just gotta reach my goal, or even a goal. I don't know what I want.

I thank the one who pulled the trigger, who woke me up and made me see I don't want to be trapped anymore.

sounds easy but it isnt.

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.
                                                         -Bob Marley

another mindless rant

http://gawker.com/5839947/comment-of-the-day-how-friends-destroyed-the-middle-class
Ok so its a little out of what I'm usually blabbing about. But sometimes there are more interesting things in life besides being emo lol.

I read it cause I was curious and also because I'm constantly on Gawker.com (never heard of it check it out great articles about life and interests).

The economy right now is in a shit hole. Finding a job is almost impossible even if you have the degree to back you up. Renting an apartment now includes giving up your first born child in a ONE year lease. And even going out to a nice place such as a Bronx Zoo and being able to see an actual animal is $30 a person (its an all inclusive pass to see everything, yes they charge to see certain animals smh). And yet from what I recall when I watch T.V. ( I rarely do) everyone has money to do what they want, be who they want, live where they want, etc.

I couldn't stop laughing at the post becuase it has truth in it. I have a silly BA. All I was able to get was a job I was nowhere near qualified for and had to quit due to fear of being sued. I ended up 6 months unemployed not able to find anything in anything. At long last I found a job working at Aldo being in charge of accessory shipments and refilling handbag walls. Not what I imagined when I graduated college. I spent 5months there meanwhile I managed to get into substitute teaching for a day care and as of September I am now an Assistant Teacher for a day care program in Queens.

All this, and my BA is in film. So all this time and can't even get a script right or ready to shoot. And been on set for a few productions (at least I manged to score an imdb page lol). I didnt get out of school thinking I was going to make it big. No of course not, but I felt let down with looking for the stability that would allow me to pursue my art. Thats where things failed because its overlooked on some of these T.V. shows/ movies/ books, etc. What we see are people who get out of school, in fact some are show automatcially making it without going to school and they can do what they please and the reality of what I so far have experienced is ignored.

Now as I say all this I'm speaking on behalf of myself. Maybe for some they have the knack to make it right away. Me with my current sitios have not been so lucky and had to find ways to stay on my feet.


I wont say "Friends" destroyed the middle class I think its more that it stretched out the truth. I dont know much about new shows out (well besides Dexter, SOA, Jersey Shore and GG). So I don't know if the economy is now being played real. But it would be nice to see a drama where its opposite Gossip Girl and instead of focusing on Manhattans elite, why not focus on people living on a small block in Queens where money is tight? Where every episode doesn't include a gala or a ball in fact you get the occasional house party. Lets have the protagonists who've been out of high school for about 6-7 years but still living at home to help pay their parents rent because times are too hard right now to live on their own? You would still have the gossip, the sex, the blackmail, drama, and occasional comedic relief. Come on Chuck Bass could of gone to Newtown and still be the same playboy he is in the Upper East Side except he just chills on Lamont Ave smoking an L. Just switch his suits with a white tee, blue jeans and timbs and you can still have the same story play out. Maybe it's just me, but I think it would work, cause its real.

And I know some of ya are gonna be like Barbi Q. why don't you write this show, and maybe I will. But I have the belief that people wanna see what life can be like not what it really is.