From the vault..I believe 2007
The old man with the crooked leg sits in the same spot everyday....Sitting between the alleyway and the school yard....Stares at all the people walking by...The children scared he gon' smile and show his missing teeth..or hear the cackling of his drunken laugh as he watches misfortune hit others...At all hours he is there drinking cheap whiskey telling same stories over and over again..telling those who walk by the dangers that lie before them...He hops around on his crooked leg and sings the songs he learned as a child...swinging his bottle..he appears to others as a trickster..a warning of any path chosen...he knows but wont tell you....the question is left to the one standing in front of him at his lil spot by the alleyway and the school yard....
November 19, 2012
October 30, 2012
Italian Giallo and the Slasher Film
I wrote this paper back in 2009 for my Horror Cinema class....in the spirit of the crazy storm and Halloween...enjoy...
Italian Giallo and the Slasher Film
Italian giallo, which means yellow, are part of the horror genre, and have inspired the makings of the now popular slasher film. Both have elements that are similar, but when the slasher was made it took some the elements and revamped them and added newer features that are easily recognizable and made popular by film audiences.
Giallo films began as a horror and thriller hybrid in the mid-1960’s. It has distinct elements such as the masked killer, who is motivated by a psychological trauma. This killer walks around committing highly choreographed, eroticized violence, and is usually shown with their hands gloved to hide their identity. The mass murders committed begin an investigation. Usually the protagonist is played by either American or British actors. The films relied on its camera setups that were highly elaborated and helped build the suspense with its shock effects. It also began the predatory camera work, in which the audience would get the point of view of the murderer as they chased or followed their victim. The spectacle of the violence would also overwhelm the narrative, which is sometimes already unreliable. Lastly it paid attention to body horror, by showing images of damage being done to the body.
Giallo films made their mark in the United States in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s and “were exhibited in limited release, or found on the midnight movie circuit” (Guins 2). They later were available on VHS and television. These films were intended for adult viewing, but were sold for a kid’s audience on T.V. Since they became popular with such a young audience they were heavily censored. The censorship though took away from the films, making them hard to follow, and the VHS copies were of a low resolution. The sound was also off. The giallo’s were then known as “splatter” films, since the censorships would cut the murders to only show the blood being splattered and slight gore. By 1997, the films were identified as art and released on DVD and redefined as “Horror” artistic films with auteur markings. It also included DVD extras not found on the VHS copies.
Deep Red by Dario Argento was made in 1975. It’s an example of giallo films because it incorporates its elements into its story. Starting off the audience witnesses a murder and later sees the legs of a child, it does not identify who these people are, but this part is crucial to the climax of the film. The audience is then introduced to a musician who takes on the role as the detective in trying to uncover the mysterious murders that keep occurring around him. At times the films narrative is not reliable, once the audience and the protagonist think they are on to something the story changes. The killer has a tune that comes up when they are in the scene and also alerts the audience that something is up. The tune also signals part of the murderer’s traumatic past. The murders are also violent and memorable. For example in one scene a man is shown in his study also trying to investigate the murders, and it seems he is on to something. At this point a music cue goes on and he becomes aware that he may not be alone in the room. He grabs a knife and keeps his eyes on the door. The music picks up pace raising the suspense that the murderer is going to come through the door. Suddenly the music stops, and the door opens to reveal a doll that makes its way towards the man. The man slashes it down, but remains looking at it. The music picks up again and the killer comes out from behind the curtain right next to him, bashing the man’s head into the desk and killing him. The scene is memorable by showing the man’s face as he’s being bashed into a table because first the doll that appears seems to give the audience false suspense making them think it’s nothing, but it leaves the man confused as if it’s telling him that the killer is there. Second the camera provides the audience a close up look as he is brutally killed, first by having his teeth bashed and then followed by being stabbed. The audience does not see the stabbing and but is only left with the view of the man’s face as he is looking up and leaving the audience to think that he got a view of the killer and is left to die looking at him.
Around 1978, the slasher film was introduced to American audiences. Influenced heavily by the giallo films they even borrowed the same elements. They included erotized violence, hand held camerawork from the killer’s point of view, and the killer is also motivated by a psychological trauma. The killer also has a tendency to be falsely killed, meaning the protagonist thinks they get rid of him only for later the killer appears again. Violence towards females was also much more excessive, than the violence towards males. But not all females were victimized in the films; the slasher introduced the concept of the final girl.
The final girl became a well known feature to the slasher. She has abilities not seen in other characters. She is alert to her surroundings and would notice when things are slightly off. She also is said to be “a female who is actually deep down a man in drag” (Pinedo 81). Seen with masculine abilities, she is capable to run from the killer, dodge blows, and must be resourceful in making weapons that will aid her in her final battle with the killer. Not following the female stereotypes of being the “damsel in distress”, she is given a moral alibi to be able to fight back, since she has witness the death of her own friends at the hand of the killer. Unlike her female comrades though she avoids participating in sexual activity, another element of the slasher. The films have a puritive view towards sex; those who are seen doing it end up as victims to the killer. This was changed though in the 1990’s in Wes Craven’s Scream in which the final girl is seen having sex with her boyfriend, but survives in the end after her battle with the killer.
An example of the slasher film is with John Carpenter’s Halloween. Premiered in 1978 it introduced audiences to “The Shape” later known as Michael Myers. The film begins with a look at a house, it’s not clear whether it’s someone’s point of view or not, but later the audience is placed into the point of view of a character as they go into the kitchen get a knife. The narrator then puts on a mask, and the audience gets the view from the mask, seeing through he eyes holes as the mysterious narrator enters a room with a girl, whom the audience has seen already through the window from before. The girl is naked and turns and yells at the narrator and at that moment she is stabbed to death. It then cuts to the narrator sitting outside and the audience is shown that they just witnessed through a young Michael Myers his first murder. The film then forwards a few years to reveal that Myers has escaped on a Halloween and has returned to his hometown. His motives are unknown as he is shown following Laurie Strode, a teenage girl who is babysitting for the night. His appearance throughout his cued by a theme song, that is now extremely popular among fans of the series. Laurie is the final girl of the film. Throughout the film, she picks up that she is being watched and notices inconsistencies that her friends do not pick up on. While her friends participate in sexual activities and substance abuse, she remains as the “girl scout”, until she sees her friends have been murdered. At this point she changes her role from being damsel to hero as she goes up against Myers in fight in the end. She becomes resourceful using a hanger to poke his eye through his mask, giving her a chance to get away. Laurie also demonstrates a productive fear, in which she is afraid but tries to protect herself and friends, such as the children she is taking care of.
Bay of Blood by Mario Bava and Friday the 13th part II by Steve Miner both provide how close the giallo and the slasher are, and the influence of the Italians had on the American horror genre. Bay of Blood has a scene in which a young couple is shown having sex and is killed by having a spear penetrate through both of them by a mysterious killer. This scene was done over in Friday the 13th part II by showing a couple also having sex, only to then be stabbed together by Jason. This clearly shows how American filmmakers watched the giallos and got ideas from them. The murders and gore would play a big part in slasher films and as years go on they get more and more gory.
What makes the Italian giallo films fascinating now is the way they were shot and how elaborate their sets were. They were creative in bringing out a story about a string of murders and kept the audiences asking for more. The same can be said for slasher films as some of the original films form the 1980’s are constantly being remade and brought back through sequels. This shows how audiences still ask for more and continue to see them as they are released in theaters. DVD sales also demonstrate how popular the films have become.
Works Cited
Guins, Raiford. "Blood and Black Gloves on Shiny Disks: New Media, Old Tastes, and
the Remediation of Italian Horror Films in the United States." n. pag. Web. 12
Nov 2009.
Pinedo, Isabel. Recreational Terror: Women and the Pleasures of Horror Film Viewing.
Albany, NY: State University of New York Press, 1997. Print.
Italian Giallo and the Slasher Film
Italian giallo, which means yellow, are part of the horror genre, and have inspired the makings of the now popular slasher film. Both have elements that are similar, but when the slasher was made it took some the elements and revamped them and added newer features that are easily recognizable and made popular by film audiences.
Giallo films began as a horror and thriller hybrid in the mid-1960’s. It has distinct elements such as the masked killer, who is motivated by a psychological trauma. This killer walks around committing highly choreographed, eroticized violence, and is usually shown with their hands gloved to hide their identity. The mass murders committed begin an investigation. Usually the protagonist is played by either American or British actors. The films relied on its camera setups that were highly elaborated and helped build the suspense with its shock effects. It also began the predatory camera work, in which the audience would get the point of view of the murderer as they chased or followed their victim. The spectacle of the violence would also overwhelm the narrative, which is sometimes already unreliable. Lastly it paid attention to body horror, by showing images of damage being done to the body.
Giallo films made their mark in the United States in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s and “were exhibited in limited release, or found on the midnight movie circuit” (Guins 2). They later were available on VHS and television. These films were intended for adult viewing, but were sold for a kid’s audience on T.V. Since they became popular with such a young audience they were heavily censored. The censorship though took away from the films, making them hard to follow, and the VHS copies were of a low resolution. The sound was also off. The giallo’s were then known as “splatter” films, since the censorships would cut the murders to only show the blood being splattered and slight gore. By 1997, the films were identified as art and released on DVD and redefined as “Horror” artistic films with auteur markings. It also included DVD extras not found on the VHS copies.
Deep Red by Dario Argento was made in 1975. It’s an example of giallo films because it incorporates its elements into its story. Starting off the audience witnesses a murder and later sees the legs of a child, it does not identify who these people are, but this part is crucial to the climax of the film. The audience is then introduced to a musician who takes on the role as the detective in trying to uncover the mysterious murders that keep occurring around him. At times the films narrative is not reliable, once the audience and the protagonist think they are on to something the story changes. The killer has a tune that comes up when they are in the scene and also alerts the audience that something is up. The tune also signals part of the murderer’s traumatic past. The murders are also violent and memorable. For example in one scene a man is shown in his study also trying to investigate the murders, and it seems he is on to something. At this point a music cue goes on and he becomes aware that he may not be alone in the room. He grabs a knife and keeps his eyes on the door. The music picks up pace raising the suspense that the murderer is going to come through the door. Suddenly the music stops, and the door opens to reveal a doll that makes its way towards the man. The man slashes it down, but remains looking at it. The music picks up again and the killer comes out from behind the curtain right next to him, bashing the man’s head into the desk and killing him. The scene is memorable by showing the man’s face as he’s being bashed into a table because first the doll that appears seems to give the audience false suspense making them think it’s nothing, but it leaves the man confused as if it’s telling him that the killer is there. Second the camera provides the audience a close up look as he is brutally killed, first by having his teeth bashed and then followed by being stabbed. The audience does not see the stabbing and but is only left with the view of the man’s face as he is looking up and leaving the audience to think that he got a view of the killer and is left to die looking at him.
Around 1978, the slasher film was introduced to American audiences. Influenced heavily by the giallo films they even borrowed the same elements. They included erotized violence, hand held camerawork from the killer’s point of view, and the killer is also motivated by a psychological trauma. The killer also has a tendency to be falsely killed, meaning the protagonist thinks they get rid of him only for later the killer appears again. Violence towards females was also much more excessive, than the violence towards males. But not all females were victimized in the films; the slasher introduced the concept of the final girl.
The final girl became a well known feature to the slasher. She has abilities not seen in other characters. She is alert to her surroundings and would notice when things are slightly off. She also is said to be “a female who is actually deep down a man in drag” (Pinedo 81). Seen with masculine abilities, she is capable to run from the killer, dodge blows, and must be resourceful in making weapons that will aid her in her final battle with the killer. Not following the female stereotypes of being the “damsel in distress”, she is given a moral alibi to be able to fight back, since she has witness the death of her own friends at the hand of the killer. Unlike her female comrades though she avoids participating in sexual activity, another element of the slasher. The films have a puritive view towards sex; those who are seen doing it end up as victims to the killer. This was changed though in the 1990’s in Wes Craven’s Scream in which the final girl is seen having sex with her boyfriend, but survives in the end after her battle with the killer.
An example of the slasher film is with John Carpenter’s Halloween. Premiered in 1978 it introduced audiences to “The Shape” later known as Michael Myers. The film begins with a look at a house, it’s not clear whether it’s someone’s point of view or not, but later the audience is placed into the point of view of a character as they go into the kitchen get a knife. The narrator then puts on a mask, and the audience gets the view from the mask, seeing through he eyes holes as the mysterious narrator enters a room with a girl, whom the audience has seen already through the window from before. The girl is naked and turns and yells at the narrator and at that moment she is stabbed to death. It then cuts to the narrator sitting outside and the audience is shown that they just witnessed through a young Michael Myers his first murder. The film then forwards a few years to reveal that Myers has escaped on a Halloween and has returned to his hometown. His motives are unknown as he is shown following Laurie Strode, a teenage girl who is babysitting for the night. His appearance throughout his cued by a theme song, that is now extremely popular among fans of the series. Laurie is the final girl of the film. Throughout the film, she picks up that she is being watched and notices inconsistencies that her friends do not pick up on. While her friends participate in sexual activities and substance abuse, she remains as the “girl scout”, until she sees her friends have been murdered. At this point she changes her role from being damsel to hero as she goes up against Myers in fight in the end. She becomes resourceful using a hanger to poke his eye through his mask, giving her a chance to get away. Laurie also demonstrates a productive fear, in which she is afraid but tries to protect herself and friends, such as the children she is taking care of.
Bay of Blood by Mario Bava and Friday the 13th part II by Steve Miner both provide how close the giallo and the slasher are, and the influence of the Italians had on the American horror genre. Bay of Blood has a scene in which a young couple is shown having sex and is killed by having a spear penetrate through both of them by a mysterious killer. This scene was done over in Friday the 13th part II by showing a couple also having sex, only to then be stabbed together by Jason. This clearly shows how American filmmakers watched the giallos and got ideas from them. The murders and gore would play a big part in slasher films and as years go on they get more and more gory.
What makes the Italian giallo films fascinating now is the way they were shot and how elaborate their sets were. They were creative in bringing out a story about a string of murders and kept the audiences asking for more. The same can be said for slasher films as some of the original films form the 1980’s are constantly being remade and brought back through sequels. This shows how audiences still ask for more and continue to see them as they are released in theaters. DVD sales also demonstrate how popular the films have become.
Works Cited
Guins, Raiford. "Blood and Black Gloves on Shiny Disks: New Media, Old Tastes, and
the Remediation of Italian Horror Films in the United States." n. pag. Web. 12
Nov 2009.
Pinedo, Isabel. Recreational Terror: Women and the Pleasures of Horror Film Viewing.
Albany, NY: State University of New York Press, 1997. Print.
August 26, 2012
madness- MUSE
this song has basically become my new obsession.
Come to me
Just in a dream
Come on and rescue me
the 2nd Law drops October 1, 2012....cant wait to have it...
August 3, 2012
act one
i look out the window of my room. i remember how excited i use to get about those summer days when i would later walk around the entire neighborhood to see who i would see, followed by looking forward to the ice cream truck. that was then. my walks through this valley of buildings of only six stories tall. now i dont even remember the last time i took a walk through these streets.....
this summer so far lets recap shall we...
drove down south with the family, spent a couple of days in Miami.
spent 2 weeks in Cuba, where i got to reunite with my family after 9 long years. the minute my plane landed i started to cry once i saw the palm trees and saw my cousin waiting for me at the airport door. the trip to town i started remembering everything. i was a 16 yr old girl who forgot how to care about things, and was angry at the world. came back to the U.S. a 16 yr old girl who learned what it meant to be cared about by a family, values that i would carry in my later teen years with a group of friends i cherish always. now im 25 and to be back was amazing, got to enjoy being in the company of amazing and strong women who manage to maintain under the toughest conditions.
i was with my own mother and abuela, three generations of women who share the same name. De Los Angeles....a name i use to hate as a kid. at 16 i had a chance to remove it, but after my trip i decided to keep it because now it had meaning, i knew where it came from and if its the only connection i have to my family in Nuevitas then so let it stay. i wish my mother kept it, instead she had her name changed a few years ago.
my mother...what can i say. she spent 34 years away, more then half of her life living in the U.S. she had a difficult time adapting to the life she once had. all she would say to me is i want to go home, i don't belong here anymore.
rough times there was few, i drank the water by mistake got a little sick, but that didnt stop me from going out and seeing everything i could. i went to Santiago visited El Cobre. i went to Gibara met my fathers family. each day was a new adventure that i looked forward to each day.
the day i left was a sad day. my tia woke up said adios....and recalling words she said to me before i said no es adios es hasta lluego. that it wasnt good bye, it was i'll see you later....once i said that she looked at me held back her tears, as i gold mine as i write this, and she hugged me and said that no matter what this was my home and no matter the distance i have her always to guide me. once i got to the airport and went through the aduana it started to pour. my flight ended up delayed. my country wept for me. i made it fine to miami where i spent a weekend.
this summer as many know shall be my requiem and Cuba was only the first act. as i currently enjoy my second act of rest and recollection, i look out my window and realize my next adventure will come once i reunite with those streets that once was my playground......
this summer so far lets recap shall we...
drove down south with the family, spent a couple of days in Miami.
spent 2 weeks in Cuba, where i got to reunite with my family after 9 long years. the minute my plane landed i started to cry once i saw the palm trees and saw my cousin waiting for me at the airport door. the trip to town i started remembering everything. i was a 16 yr old girl who forgot how to care about things, and was angry at the world. came back to the U.S. a 16 yr old girl who learned what it meant to be cared about by a family, values that i would carry in my later teen years with a group of friends i cherish always. now im 25 and to be back was amazing, got to enjoy being in the company of amazing and strong women who manage to maintain under the toughest conditions.
i was with my own mother and abuela, three generations of women who share the same name. De Los Angeles....a name i use to hate as a kid. at 16 i had a chance to remove it, but after my trip i decided to keep it because now it had meaning, i knew where it came from and if its the only connection i have to my family in Nuevitas then so let it stay. i wish my mother kept it, instead she had her name changed a few years ago.
my mother...what can i say. she spent 34 years away, more then half of her life living in the U.S. she had a difficult time adapting to the life she once had. all she would say to me is i want to go home, i don't belong here anymore.
rough times there was few, i drank the water by mistake got a little sick, but that didnt stop me from going out and seeing everything i could. i went to Santiago visited El Cobre. i went to Gibara met my fathers family. each day was a new adventure that i looked forward to each day.
the day i left was a sad day. my tia woke up said adios....and recalling words she said to me before i said no es adios es hasta lluego. that it wasnt good bye, it was i'll see you later....once i said that she looked at me held back her tears, as i gold mine as i write this, and she hugged me and said that no matter what this was my home and no matter the distance i have her always to guide me. once i got to the airport and went through the aduana it started to pour. my flight ended up delayed. my country wept for me. i made it fine to miami where i spent a weekend.
this summer as many know shall be my requiem and Cuba was only the first act. as i currently enjoy my second act of rest and recollection, i look out my window and realize my next adventure will come once i reunite with those streets that once was my playground......
May 20, 2012
do Ya thing
on Friday I found out that I've been accepted into the Hunter College School of Education. I'm going to grad school so i guess that means things gotta change. Gonna have to clean up my act and get ready to focus. Am i scared? of course i am, but i know ima be alright.
This summer will be my requiem...kicking off with visiting my family in Cuba, Cancun and all in between I have only good things to look forward too.
Now enjoy some Gorillaz-DoYaThing feat Andre 3000
This summer will be my requiem...kicking off with visiting my family in Cuba, Cancun and all in between I have only good things to look forward too.
Now enjoy some Gorillaz-DoYaThing feat Andre 3000
May 8, 2012
darkness
disclaimer: I'd feel better if people don't approach me on this...this is more for me to clear my head type thing. and for the record I'm doing fine.
last night:
I fell asleep earlier than usual. I was tired and my left shoulder was hurting (a pain I have been feeling for weeks I really need a massage). In what I thought was an entire night of sleep I entered a dream state that lasted 20 minutes, what I saw still has me thinking. I saw myself sleeping in my bed, I heard laughter and people talking but no clue to who they are. I felt cold so I see myself trying to reach for my quilt and wrapping myself in it. All of a sudden I don't see me anymore, I now am aware that I am the one sleeping and then I felt it. A presence pushing against me, and on my bed. I open my eyes and see face to face a black shadow over me grabbing me and suffocating me. I think it spoke. I tried to fight it off but its smokey type hand covered my mouth as I screamed for help. Finally I forced myself awake and jumped up.
I realize I've only been asleep for 20minutes. and I'm scared because I felt it and felt real. I look in my small cubicle of a room and jump again thinking its there. but its my mind playing tricks. wtf was that about?
Does everyone has a dark side to them? was that what it was? Those who know me well know that I'm usually not the nicest person. I'm quick to jump into a fight and have done things I don't feel great about. Since I was a child I always saw things that no one else would see. People would just assume I'm crazy and maybe I am. But aren't we all a little crazy?
Was that my darkness? Was that the bad coming back for me?
I always questioned since young what it means to be good. Who has the right to say you're good? I work with kids who act out and instead of saying they bad I just say what it is, they act out. Was that what I was doing when i was younger? Was I acting out? Looking for something?
Its been almost 2 months I haven't had a incident. Haven't struck out at a person or gotten into a fight. My incidents have been really messed up and I spend days afterward trying to forget it and stuck in a pool of guilt. My anger gets the best of me and I always end up doing something stupid, but lately I just don't feel mad anymore. I'm calm.
But now it brings up there is always a calm before the storm......and what if the dream, the shadow is telling me that?
last night:
I fell asleep earlier than usual. I was tired and my left shoulder was hurting (a pain I have been feeling for weeks I really need a massage). In what I thought was an entire night of sleep I entered a dream state that lasted 20 minutes, what I saw still has me thinking. I saw myself sleeping in my bed, I heard laughter and people talking but no clue to who they are. I felt cold so I see myself trying to reach for my quilt and wrapping myself in it. All of a sudden I don't see me anymore, I now am aware that I am the one sleeping and then I felt it. A presence pushing against me, and on my bed. I open my eyes and see face to face a black shadow over me grabbing me and suffocating me. I think it spoke. I tried to fight it off but its smokey type hand covered my mouth as I screamed for help. Finally I forced myself awake and jumped up.
I realize I've only been asleep for 20minutes. and I'm scared because I felt it and felt real. I look in my small cubicle of a room and jump again thinking its there. but its my mind playing tricks. wtf was that about?
Does everyone has a dark side to them? was that what it was? Those who know me well know that I'm usually not the nicest person. I'm quick to jump into a fight and have done things I don't feel great about. Since I was a child I always saw things that no one else would see. People would just assume I'm crazy and maybe I am. But aren't we all a little crazy?
Was that my darkness? Was that the bad coming back for me?
I always questioned since young what it means to be good. Who has the right to say you're good? I work with kids who act out and instead of saying they bad I just say what it is, they act out. Was that what I was doing when i was younger? Was I acting out? Looking for something?
Its been almost 2 months I haven't had a incident. Haven't struck out at a person or gotten into a fight. My incidents have been really messed up and I spend days afterward trying to forget it and stuck in a pool of guilt. My anger gets the best of me and I always end up doing something stupid, but lately I just don't feel mad anymore. I'm calm.
But now it brings up there is always a calm before the storm......and what if the dream, the shadow is telling me that?
April 11, 2012
foggy rooftop thoughts
U crazy is wat dey say...not all there...been hearin dat since I culd
talk...ur a beast..normal ppl aint loud..dey dun roar...im a
monster....y she talk like dat...leave me alone...y u hit him...he hit
me first....can't u stay still..nah neva dat...mind is foggy jus like
tonight...no view to remind me da world is beautiful...its all
ugly...like me...y can't I breathe...da train echoes between da
buildings...its light fills da sky..u wuld think a storm is
coming...trapt wit a cloud ova mah head....one swig of dis helps me to
forget...its cold..mah body shivers..ur too nice..I kno I try...why....I
think of da fallen...catch me...hold me...tell me its gonna get
better...wake up barbi wake up...dey say good things come to those dat
wait...how much longer...I smile cuz its hurts to cry...but I feel all
of it...every lie....everywun deserves a chance...where's mine?
original date May 3, 2008
original date May 3, 2008
March 29, 2012
Huff This!!!
Dream thrash
what comes to mind when you read that?
Dream thrash
there it is again.
Where were you when you heard your song? It was your song cause you felt something, like a volt of electricity running thru your veins. Maybe a tear down your eyes.
What did you feel that moment you got to hear it live? not a recording but actually there vocals in your face in a cramped up way too small venue where you wouldn't be expected to leave without a drink spill on you. What did you feel once the melody started? It couldn't be drugs or the liquor that had you swaying, and going with each riff. Nah it was that voice, that harmony with the band. That unit that is held together by what you feel and how you respond to it. The crowd going along with you, no fights that night. You felt that jolt, you rocked that beat, bopped your head and stomped your feet. Because at that moment the music was all for you. A moment of clarity.
Want to have this experience? then join me this Sunday at the Highline Ballroom to see Huff This!
https://www.facebook.com/events/252449634838487/
Show starts at 8pm!
what comes to mind when you read that?
Dream thrash
there it is again.
Where were you when you heard your song? It was your song cause you felt something, like a volt of electricity running thru your veins. Maybe a tear down your eyes.
What did you feel that moment you got to hear it live? not a recording but actually there vocals in your face in a cramped up way too small venue where you wouldn't be expected to leave without a drink spill on you. What did you feel once the melody started? It couldn't be drugs or the liquor that had you swaying, and going with each riff. Nah it was that voice, that harmony with the band. That unit that is held together by what you feel and how you respond to it. The crowd going along with you, no fights that night. You felt that jolt, you rocked that beat, bopped your head and stomped your feet. Because at that moment the music was all for you. A moment of clarity.
Want to have this experience? then join me this Sunday at the Highline Ballroom to see Huff This!
https://www.facebook.com/events/252449634838487/
Show starts at 8pm!
March 13, 2012
statement of purpose
For the past month I've been working on something, I've been told to write about myself, and I'm asked to make myself stand out. Really? if i did that then what would that look like. I've been called a mess of personality, with my loud screech of a laugh, and angry glare. I'm a dramatic comedy that unfolds before your eyes, and whether you laugh along or walk away is up to you.
and it starts like this:
Since I was young my vivid imagination and creativity have been what stood out in anything I’ve accomplished. My ability to share my vision and thoughts with others without fear have made me a natural leader and someone that can be in a classroom environment teaching children in a way that will allow them to open their minds in their first step of education.
If that doesn't lure them in, then maybe it's not for me after all.
and it starts like this:
Since I was young my vivid imagination and creativity have been what stood out in anything I’ve accomplished. My ability to share my vision and thoughts with others without fear have made me a natural leader and someone that can be in a classroom environment teaching children in a way that will allow them to open their minds in their first step of education.
If that doesn't lure them in, then maybe it's not for me after all.
February 14, 2012
February 4, 2012
Livin' Lovin' im just a woman
there will be a day that i choose to go over the hills and far
away.....and since i've been loving you...i wander dazed and confused
caught as a fool in the rain...10 years gone ill be found down by the
seashore..hearing the oceans roar...you'll find me and i will tell you of
those misty mountain hops and stories of the battle of evermore...in the
evening ill take you to where I found the stairway to heaven...and
called upon the ghosts of kashmir.....we'll rock and roll like during
our old dancing days when we made a whole lotta love......and ill show you the spot where achilles made his last stand....and there I'll mark the
celebration day....we'll spend a night at the houses of the holy...where
I'll give you all of my love...but I remember what is and what should
never be and so babe I'm gonna leave you....and that's the way its gotta
be...so ima sit around eating my tangerine....and after all the wearing
and tearing i will come home to find my that song remains the same...
yea if ya cant tell I like Led Zeppelin.
yea if ya cant tell I like Led Zeppelin.
January 29, 2012
Had this stuck in my head
She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
But she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me
January 23, 2012
Designated Driver
"We all like to think that we're in the driver's seat of our own lives. But the truth is, the idea that we can control our fate is an illusion. You can choose the most loyal friends, the dream job, the truest love. But at the end of the day, our fate is decided for us. All we can do is hope we have the strength to cope with the hand she deals us."- G.G.
Is our fate already decided? Is the universe mapped out? Has it always been like that?
Since the summer its been a thought of whether fate is real. In fact I think I've been thinking about it since well always. This time last year I was unemployed, confused, and had no idea of the situation that was going to occur. That one moment my faith and trust in people just went away. It also led me on some downward spiral where I thought I had someone that I could genuinely care for cause they had my back. Yea no one really has anyone's back.
I wonder if I had to get my stuff stolen, to put me on a path to figure out I couldn't just sit on my ass and drink off the fact that my dream job wasn't working out. That trying to start my own company wasn't exactly what I needed at the time. I ended up getting calls to substitue and by July I was offered a full time position.
I love the faces I get when people hear I'm a teacher. Most people are surprised I'm trusted with children or have the patience. I guess my personality is to blame. But the fact that I'm here makes me question if fate has a role to play in all this. Did I have to go through days of rejection and disappointment to land here?
I guess I'm dealing with it now. I still haven't started my app for school, maybe I can't accept that I'm on a path to be a teacher. That I sit and stare at the 1 page of my screenplay and just ended up deleted it cause due to fate and what I was writing about I don't know if that's that story I want to tell. It depresses me so now I don't know if I should go along for the ride or become the designated driver and take over the wheel. I think fate is too drunk to take over things for me. I thought fate had my back and now I see him with someone else and have to hear his excuses on how it just happened (really adults shouldn't be saying it just happened to explain things smh).
So fate I think I'm going to challenge you. Yes I will work on my school app and I think I'm going back into my celtx files and get back on "Porcelain". And see which road fate is going to take me on. Of course I wont let it fully take over I think I just need that extra driver for the times I need to rest my eyes for a while. In the meantime I need to figure out how to get out of this traffic jam I'm in right now.
Is our fate already decided? Is the universe mapped out? Has it always been like that?
Since the summer its been a thought of whether fate is real. In fact I think I've been thinking about it since well always. This time last year I was unemployed, confused, and had no idea of the situation that was going to occur. That one moment my faith and trust in people just went away. It also led me on some downward spiral where I thought I had someone that I could genuinely care for cause they had my back. Yea no one really has anyone's back.
I wonder if I had to get my stuff stolen, to put me on a path to figure out I couldn't just sit on my ass and drink off the fact that my dream job wasn't working out. That trying to start my own company wasn't exactly what I needed at the time. I ended up getting calls to substitue and by July I was offered a full time position.
I love the faces I get when people hear I'm a teacher. Most people are surprised I'm trusted with children or have the patience. I guess my personality is to blame. But the fact that I'm here makes me question if fate has a role to play in all this. Did I have to go through days of rejection and disappointment to land here?
I guess I'm dealing with it now. I still haven't started my app for school, maybe I can't accept that I'm on a path to be a teacher. That I sit and stare at the 1 page of my screenplay and just ended up deleted it cause due to fate and what I was writing about I don't know if that's that story I want to tell. It depresses me so now I don't know if I should go along for the ride or become the designated driver and take over the wheel. I think fate is too drunk to take over things for me. I thought fate had my back and now I see him with someone else and have to hear his excuses on how it just happened (really adults shouldn't be saying it just happened to explain things smh).
So fate I think I'm going to challenge you. Yes I will work on my school app and I think I'm going back into my celtx files and get back on "Porcelain". And see which road fate is going to take me on. Of course I wont let it fully take over I think I just need that extra driver for the times I need to rest my eyes for a while. In the meantime I need to figure out how to get out of this traffic jam I'm in right now.
January 20, 2012
25
Out of all the birthdays I've lived through I feel this is the one true milestone. I didnt care for the attention I'd get on my birthdays, I never was the one getting balloons or having surprises done (not really a fan of them). I don't get a midnight phone call from a best friend or from anyone or have my mom come to my room to wish me a Happy Birthday cause I know it'll be the first thing shes gonna say in the morning. I think it only had to be special to me, only I could make this day really mean something, cause its the day I was allowed to be in this world. Allowed because I almost didn't make it but my mom fought and held through so I can be here.
Not even those important ages felt that special at 18 the first thing I did was legally buy a pack of cigs so i didn't have to constantly bum or ask people to buy em for me, and by 21 it didn't matter that I could legally buy my liquor, cause by that time I spoiled that fun by doing it way before that. In fact at 21 I was more excited for a football game then actually going out. Don't get me started about going out and partying did that too that by the time I was 20 I realized I wasn't into club scenes that much.
And just like that folks I became 25 at the stroke of midnight, and I reached that milestone. I've been on this Earth for a quarter of a century and in that time so much has happened I cant even begin to explain. But its a remidner of two things, the first being mentioned above, the second that I have a lot of thigs to get in motion. Questions that I can't keep stalling on. Im a pro at procrastination but now my eyes are opening to what really needs to be done.
Im not gonna make a list of goals that must be fulfilled immediately, but now I gotta think what moves I gotta make to move out of my mothers house? Do I want to go back to school and get my masters? Is film an option for me as a career to pursue or will it become a hobby? All these thoughts plague my mind, plus other issues that eventually one day will become resolved.
I'm ready this year to maintain those that have always stood by my side, and make those friendships stronger and better than before. This year if its the last I want to ride out with them til the end.
And lastly there's something about birthdays where you hear from people you haven't spoken to or seen, thanks to facebook, so to everyone wishing me a happy birthday thank you.And with that ima leave ya with Ceremony by New Order..my birthday anthem since I became 21...
Not even those important ages felt that special at 18 the first thing I did was legally buy a pack of cigs so i didn't have to constantly bum or ask people to buy em for me, and by 21 it didn't matter that I could legally buy my liquor, cause by that time I spoiled that fun by doing it way before that. In fact at 21 I was more excited for a football game then actually going out. Don't get me started about going out and partying did that too that by the time I was 20 I realized I wasn't into club scenes that much.
And just like that folks I became 25 at the stroke of midnight, and I reached that milestone. I've been on this Earth for a quarter of a century and in that time so much has happened I cant even begin to explain. But its a remidner of two things, the first being mentioned above, the second that I have a lot of thigs to get in motion. Questions that I can't keep stalling on. Im a pro at procrastination but now my eyes are opening to what really needs to be done.
Im not gonna make a list of goals that must be fulfilled immediately, but now I gotta think what moves I gotta make to move out of my mothers house? Do I want to go back to school and get my masters? Is film an option for me as a career to pursue or will it become a hobby? All these thoughts plague my mind, plus other issues that eventually one day will become resolved.
I'm ready this year to maintain those that have always stood by my side, and make those friendships stronger and better than before. This year if its the last I want to ride out with them til the end.
And lastly there's something about birthdays where you hear from people you haven't spoken to or seen, thanks to facebook, so to everyone wishing me a happy birthday thank you.And with that ima leave ya with Ceremony by New Order..my birthday anthem since I became 21...
January 11, 2012
The Beautiful People
Is it the fake smiles and plastic surgerys? or the hypocrisy of turning your back to those who really care?
"I learned the truth at 17, that love was made for beauty queens and dreams were all that was free for ugly duckling girls like me"
NOOOO. Dreams are for everyone who allows them self to dream.
The popular chick with the asshole boyfriend who treats her like shyt believes she is privileged to be one of the beautiful people. But shes just as ugly as she allows herself to be abused.
The celebrities we follow who think they got it all, they all have regular lives. Jay Z just stated Beyonce has once suffered a miscarriage. Happens everyday to regulars. Omg i just said REGULARS!! nooo what the fuck??? everyone is people!!!! no different.
Who are the beautiful people?????
Why do they make me look in the mirror and feel ugly and round. Why do i wish i can break the mirror as i look into it?
Why is life so superficial? Why must we be so fake with another? Why cant we all just get along without comparing who has and looks like what.
I need to stop asking questions and just admit we made the beautiful people. We made these standards and now we pay for it. We pay for it by not accepting who we are, who others are and going along with the norms.
I refuse to starve myself, let me eat cake dammit. Let me be me.
January 6, 2012
preview and tix
https://www.vendini.com/ticket-software.html?e=e13bb81688cdeeb97101fcfeb19ad85b&t=tix
Once again being a pain but my high school Alumni concert is tomm. And the link above is to buy tix. They are $15.
And a preview is a link to one of the performers Nilsa, who I had the pleasure of attending high school with, and shes awesome so check out her facebook page become a fan and look out cause her EP is coming out soon.
https://www.facebook.com/nilsamusic
Once again being a pain but my high school Alumni concert is tomm. And the link above is to buy tix. They are $15.
And a preview is a link to one of the performers Nilsa, who I had the pleasure of attending high school with, and shes awesome so check out her facebook page become a fan and look out cause her EP is coming out soon.
https://www.facebook.com/nilsamusic
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)